After an honest-to-goodness scientific survey, researchers at the University of Missouri-Columbia have concluded that there are four kinds of drunks:
1. The Hemingways – The most common group, Hemingways do not experience a change of personality when intoxicated.
2. Mary Poppins – Usually female, this type of drinker becomes “agreeable and extroverted” after having a few adult beverages. You also might know these people as happy drunks.
3. Nutty Professors – This group is all about “liquid courage.” When sober, they’re shy or at least quiet. After drinking, they become extroverted and a bit reckless. Nutty Professors are into karaoke, yelling, and taking off their shirts.
4. Mr. Hydes – Booze makes this group less responsible, less intellectual, and more hostile. You know… an angry drunk.
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